It would have been different, the outcome. Had you been everything you thought you were. I have this memory of us in bed, we hugged, said good night to each other. Lights out. I felt loss, like my insides were gently being pulled out. I turned over to you “I miss you when you’re sleeping. I actually miss you. I don’t understand it.” You looked at me, part amused, part enchanted and pulled me close. You fell asleep talking. My throat constricted, eyes filled with tears I thought to myself ‘I miss him when he’s sleeping, how is this a…
