Now usually I like to tell you stories from the office but today I have a different one. You see, sometimes strange coincidences happen where you go and climb a bus to head home in the evening traffic jam and you suddenly notice that several people sitting inside it are fellow toilet cleaners from other buildings. Usually you just smile and wonder what the yellow-yellow office women pressing their smartphones would do if halfway home, in the middle of Jogoo road, you suddenly announced to them that they were sitting in the middle of a crowd of shit cleaners. Without…
Author: James Muraguri
James Muraguri
Certified shit cleaner. Works as a general factotum at a city company where I basically take care of shit. When I get the time, I write about it for Magunga. When I join Facebook or Twitter, I will let you know.
Monday, fourth of January 2016 and all of us toilet cleaners and tea people were at work by six. We subordinate staff always have to report on day one of the office year. It makes no sense because we cleaned all of last year’s shit and the rest of the office went to Mombasa so the toilets ought to be clean. At least leave us that one day to take our children to cheap public schools in Eastlands. If you want to know who is at the bottom of the power hierarchy in an office, visit them on the first…
On Tuesday 19th of May 2015, somebody left blood in the second floor toilet. The men’s side. I was not sure what it was at first, I thought it was spit from a bloody gum. A wound from a bar fight the night before that someone had decided to rinse and spit and then forgot to flush. Just a red patch in the water, floating on a white background. I cleaned it, paid no attention to it, and went on with work. The guards were gossiping at the entrance and I crept close to listen. The night before, that tall sales-boy…
Cartoon by Bwana Mdogo There is a shortcut to knowing a man’s true character. Just walk into the toilet after he has finished doing a big one. I look just like them walking to work every morning. I sit in the bus in the early morning cold looking important though those who know these things can tell; if you have to be in the office by 6:00am and not 8:00am then you are probably subordinate staff. Me, I clean toilets in a certain landmark building in the city centre. And I have learned to read the shit of men the…