Words by Winnie Makori
Through the long hours of labor, she managed to bring her to this world, a cruel world that had not shown the slightest pity for her predicament. It is the few minutes of passion that rendered her life full of pity and dismay, a betrayal that she cannot recount. She was only seventeen, in high school, the sweet words of her boyfriend lured her to bed, who simply disappeared without a trace with the slightest whisper, ‘i have missed my periods for two months.’ She had to face the shame all by herself to bring Melissa to this world, her sweet youthful days had soon been blown away by the tidings and the sweet words from mum and dad had been buried by the fertile soils. She surely managed it all and Melissa meant a world to her to let her face the cruelty she faced.
‘Books before men,’ it was a common phrase that Melissa got from her mother. She had greater dreams to achieve, to live her mother’s dream. She was surely blessed with the beauty of an angel and she knew men were not a pleasing story. Soon she was through with high school and got to join one of the well known universities. It didn’t prove any easier for her as she got attention from every corner with her undying beauty but it was clear to her no boyfriends until she was done with campus. A few months in campus and she had her girlfriends to hang around with. The girlfriends were cool and she got to enjoy in their company.
Time proved their closeness and one after another they got to invite her for exclusively all girls’ night party. She was not of the idea but eventually she was convinced. The first night it was cool and she got to meet the ‘mentors’ as they wished to call them. It was a lavished party, from exotic meals to the setting, to the slow music that actually stole her attention. As she sat around, her friends would be picked randomly with the so-called mentors and spend hours to no end behind closed doors. This did not bug her as she had nothing to be suspicious about. The clock ticked five in the morning and she realized she had not even blinked an eye and she was now craving for sleep. The girls were spoilt with good amounts of money and Melissa could not resist it. It was now time to say goodbye and return to their god forsaken student residentials that she wished away.
Back in the student residential, she dreamt how she would eventually upgrade her status, expensive shoes, expensive dresses and once in a while vacations out of town. This was a life she dreamed of as soon as she had her degree in the pocket but her dreams were being realized too fast. Who would have thought of such a jackpot? She now longed for the Friday nights like a drunk longing for that single shot to drive away the craving. She now emerged with a particular mentor for whom she could visit her house at her pleasure. Expensive luxuries, designer clothes, shoes and handbags, expensive getaways and occasional sleepovers away from the ‘dungeons’.
She was consumed in this array of events and could not resist either of them. It was to dawn on her that she had to exchange sexual favours with her mentor. Surely nothing comes freely from a pocket that has shed its sweat. It won’t get me pregnant, why not, I enjoy absolutely everything that the average campus girl cannot acquire. In any case no one will ever come to learn of this rather than the circle of the few ‘dreamers with ambitions’. Every Friday night which now extended to weekends with that miniskirt cutting through her figure way above the knees, a blouse too tight exposing her well rounded bosoms, with the stilettos so high that you can only try to figure out she manages on them, she is out to meet her ‘mentor’.
As she gears to the finish line, she is a great performer with quite excellent grades to show to the world. She surely managed to work it out but now she is trapped in the circles of the ‘dreamers with ambitions’, where there is no way to escape. Melissa wishes hard to be like that normal woman out there with a family and kids to hang around but if only she could rewrite her past. She wishes to walk away but she can’t, it is like a sinner who holds on to her sins and cannot let go to be forgiven. How will she face her fears, should she blame her mother for not teaching her to relate with men or gentlemen or should she ultimately carry the burden on her shoulders.