Birds and Bees

Sex is a way of life in campus. At every single moment, there is a couple in a campus somewhere getting laid. And with the popularity of such activity, comes a few mundane ground rules that players abide by. If you find a tie hanging out of a doorknob, please, do not knock. The people in there are inappropriate. if you hear loud music coming from a room, make no mistake assuming that those inside have impaired eardrums. It’s called ‘necessary noise’ for a reason, and the reason is simple. There is another sound that is trying to be drowned. If in the middle of the night you always hear a squeaking noise from the room next door, kindly invest in a pair of earplugs. You are not experiencing an epiphany, and for the love of Amadioha, heaven is not trying to pass on a message. Rather, go on your knees and pray for the poor bed- God knows just how many sleepless nights it has endured.

At this age, nobody goes around policing who does what. Abstinence is old dilapidated gospel that is coughing through an oxygen mask to survive in a world where hormones rather rationality dictates behaviour. That’s just the way it is. One would therefore assume that, in order to stay safe, medical check-ups are meant to be non-negotiable.

I guess that is why the UoN school administration decided to embark on a free HIV&AIDS testing and counselling. That was a plausible initiative if you ask me. They pitched camp in front of the hostel entrance, and went door to door in furtherance of their noble objective. However, there is never pleasing a comrade when it comes to the administration. The relationship is always sour and antagonistic. For me, the only thing that sickens me more than a bitching comrade is probably a visible panty line.

An argument arose as to the way the program was conducted- some claiming that it was unprofessionalism in its conduct. Ati simply because they went from room to room, they claimed that there was no privacy. Some say that it was the administration’s clandestine attempt at finding out the prevalence of HIV&AIDS in campus. According to them, that is wrong.

What bitter hogwash! Considering how widespread irresponsible sex is in campuses today, I say the school admin was right on the money. Don’t you think it’s necessary to know whether the person you get into bed with is safe or not? Even though our souls may go to hell for unwed copulation, there is no need of breaking the first rule of nature which is self preservation.  In a campus where people make raw unsheathed love out of lust, I see no problem with a little precaution. Furthermore, where I stay, both girls and boys are put under one roof- so for all it matters, you will never know who your girl/guy has been with. Whether or not he has been fudge-packing or doing it like bunnies with the girl next door. Here, there are more reasons to cheat than there is for a politician to steal taxpayers money. On that reserve, its a necessary evil to get tested, even if it is just to tie loose ends.

I guess it’s not prudent to conduct a HIV test in public, but hey, we are grown-ups here. Nobody asked for privacy and was denied. Instead of casting aspersions on the sanctity of everything that the school does, how about taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture.

AIDS is real- it kills. That is no old wives tale. But then I guess some people might just have to die to realize that life is not to be fucked around with.