Author: Magunga Williams

The call came in when I was at my cousin’s place. It was during those early days of the pandemic when tissue paper was more valuable than common sense, curfew was at 7pm, and the roads were clearer than a glass of twenty-twenty vision. We were having a small get together, and as it happens these days, I was the designated bartender for the evening. Problem with being the bartender at parties is that you miss out on the juice of the evening; always in the kitchen fixing the next person’s drink instead of listening in on conversations. You laugh…

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“I know his brother, Magunga, is seeing what Deo is doing and is now challenged to also perform better this term.” That is what Mr. Odipo, the head of Careers Department (and also my mother’s cousin) said when he called out my brother to receive his second badge. He had already received Best in Biology, and now he was being given the Best in Geography badge. It used to happen that way every beginning of the term. The best performers in each class would be given a yellow badge in honour of the subjects they excelled in the previous term. Other than bragging…

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There are those people who went to one primary school from Class One to Class Eight. Then the same high school from Form One to Form Four. The same with university. Those ones will not understand what I am talking about today. But if you ever switched schools, then you remember what it was like to be the new kid in school; you do not know what the hell happens in this strange new place. You do not want to offend anyone, even though you do not know the rules yet. You will apologize even for stepping on someone’s shadow.…

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When a forty something year old man invites you for a morning run, you chuckle and say to yourself that this will be a walk around the hood. In fact, the night before you go to bed a little past midnight and you ask to do to your Lakwan the things you had promised before, she asks you, but you have a run at six in the morning, you should rest. Aaaaai, he is like what? 42? Surely how far can he really run? She laughs at your logic and you laugh at hers because kwani how weak does she…

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Sometimes he would come in a taxi, on other times he would show up in the government car. It did not really matter to us because the most important thing was that William was coming home. On such days, I would not stay outside for long. And if we had to play, I would insist on playing somewhere close to the house because I wanted to see how he would arrive. I’d tell my friends, ‘today my father is coming,’ and they would help me keep a watch out. It was important to them because William being around meant I…

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I thought I was funny. Not the kind of funny that deserves a half hour segment on HBO, but the kind of funny that can draw more chuckles than the regular guy. You know, when I post something on Facebook with what I imagine is a witty caption, I get enough people reacting with that laughing emoji. And on Twitter, same thing. I get a good number of likes on my tweets, and you know on social media, those are the holy grail for reactions. Corporates pay big money for such numbers. Then yesterday while having drinks with a couple…

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Read the next sentence carefully. Your girlfriend’s parents are not OK with you living with her. Never mind what they say, they are lying. At the end of the day, parents are still parents. They will understand that their daughter is a grown twenty seven year old woman who can make her own decisions, but only in writing. Not in practice. They accept everything else about their daughter being an adult when they need money. And they may even come around to accepting that she smokes and drinks. But when it comes to relationships, that is still their little girl. …

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