P.S> I really do not know where this came from or where it was going, but well, here we are. Who cares where Midnight Conversations go? So just go with it. 

 

“What’s changed?”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“You decided to slow down”

“I was never in a hurry”

“I mean, the pace we were taking….it sped exponentially and then all of a sudden, the hugs became loose, then the kisses disappeared”

“Maybe you changed…”

“How?”

“I don’t know…”

“I still long for you”

“So you say…”

“No. So I show”

“It comes off more as lust”

“From the onset? Or recently?”

“Recently it’s just been more prominent”

“But you touch my lower back in that way”

“Because I’ve never seen anything that weird”

“You turn me on purposefully, then hang me out to dry.”

“So now what do you want?”

“Perhaps go back to where we deviated?”

“And where would that be?”

“Where I beat you at cards, and then let our emotions fly”

“Is that what used to happen?”

“No…Yes, well, kinda. After beating you, you’d sit on my lap, it would feel so heavenly. So surreal. And then you liked to giggle and bury your head on my shoulders, and shrug that pouty shrug that I like. Remember?”

“That was before you said you were a pathological liar…”

“If I hadn’t told you that, I would be a liar”

“It doesn’t change anything now…”

“So what do I do? What do you want me to do to have you back in my arms again?”

“I honestly am not sure what I want right now.”

“I am sure I want you”

“Good for you”

“Ouch”

“I won’t apologize for my feelings or lack thereof…”

“‘or lack thereof…’???”

“Not that I feel nothing for you just that I don’t feel it as strongly as you do”

“What do you feel?”

“Right now, sleepy”

“And what else….in the context of our conversation”

“I feel that….”

“Don’t say it…”

“Why not? You do not know what I want to say”

“Okay, sema” crosses fingers

“I have said this so many times…give it time…ama you just want to sleep with me then it’s over. You should have begun with that the first day and we’d be done with it…”

“I meant what I said the first time…I do not want another static….no number 18 from you….”

“I need to be able to figure out what the truth is and what’s a lie…”

“Ask me now”

“I still wouldn’t be sure…”

“Take my word for it.”

“I also told you this from the beginning…I generally do not trust people…you can’t force me to…”

“Ask me what you want to know. I promise you, no lies”

“What makes you think it’s that simple?”

“To trust me?”

“Yes, but also to carry on like you’ll never tell me a lie…for all I know, you might have lied to me many times and I just did not know it…”

“What makes you think I have?”

“The fact that I do not know you…and the only way to do that is by giving it time…ama you have an autobiography I could peruse through and know what you are all about in lesser time?”

“That wouldn’t help. And by the way, I only asked what changed because of the decrease in passion between us… I didn’t know that my confession about being a liar would cause me that. Otherwise I would have lied and said I am an honest saint. But I thought that maybe by telling you the truth about me, you would get the idea I was trying to put across with that gesture .i.e. that you have switched on a light bulb in my chest, passed through me like a needle. And everything I do these days are stitched with thoughts of you.  Seems like being honest was the bane of me.”

“Did you honestly expect me to embrace the fact that you lie a lot? Really, who would? Maybe if I had known you before as a friend I would have been more receptive…do not put this on me…I reacted like a reasonable person would…I got scared…which is totally okay…”

“I am not blaming you. You had every right.”

“So now I still don’t know what you want from me…”

“I want a lot, your heart would be a nice place to start”

“I do not think it starts there, you have my time and attention…it’s up to you now…”

“Sold. I have been blessed with beginner’s luck more than once, so I shall remain cautiously optimistic”

“It’s the only way to survive…”

“I am growing very fond of you.”

“That’s not a bad thing…”

“For now, it feels like it is. For now.”

“For that, I apologize…”

“You said you won’t apologize for your feelings or lack thereof. So, do not apologize. You do not mean it. When you join me in that boat, your presence will assuage the grief of ‘being in love’ alone”

“I’m apologizing for making you feel bad about ‘liking me’….I’ve been in that boat before so I know it ain’t fun…”

“You must be tired”

“I am….”

“Goodnight then”

 

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5 Comments

  1. this is the kind of conversation that ends a great deal of what promised at first to be an eternity of happiness…linens…linens…not in the scorching sun

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